Colorado Boy Asks Nation Not To Find His Missing Little Brother

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Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA The Onion News Network's Karen Christopher takes you Beyond The Facts, ripping open the chest of news to get to the heart of the story....

Judge Rules White Girl Will Be Tried As Black Adult

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The court ruled a white teen who stabbed a classmate to death will face the jury as a 300-pound black man. Onion News Network, Fridays at 10/9c on IFC.

Reporters Blow Up Plane, Expose Security Lapses

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271 are dead after an Onion News Network Special Investigative Report on airport security. More coverage at: http://onion.com.

Breaking News: Some Bullshit Happening Somewhere

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Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube: http://bit.ly/xzrBUA Excruciating up-to-the-minute coverage of some irrelevant bullshit story that has no ramifications whatsoever. For More Breaking News:...

'9/11 Conspiracy Theories Ridiculous' - Al Qaeda

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An Al Qaeda representative says that claims the U.S. government was behind the attacks on Sept. 11th are demeaning to Al Qaeda. For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video Subscribe...

Facebook CIA Project: The Onion News Network

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onion.news.network Facebook CIA.

The Onion's Future News From The Year 2137

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For More Breaking News: http://www.theonion.com/video While other media outlets bring you news as it happens, only the Onion News Network has the power to bring you the news before it happens....

Brain-Dead Teen, Only Capable Of Rolling Eyes And Texting, To Be Euthanized

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The parents of 13-year old Caitlin Teagart have decided to end her life, saying she can now do nothing but lay on the couch and whine about things being "gay." Subscribe to The Onion on YouTube:...

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